Five diary entries documenting the transformation from administrative assistant to satirical voice

Diary Years: How Spite and Email Trails Became Satirical Journalism

Entry 1: Month One

“I’ve organized meetings where six people discussed something one email could’ve covered. I’ve watched department heads spend $10,000 on furniture while claiming insufficient budget for actual work. I have a master’s degree. This is fine. Everything is fine.”

Entry 2: Month Four

“Today I sat in on a coaching interview. They asked his ‘vision for the program.’ He said ‘winning.’ That was it. That was his entire vision. Nobody asked follow-up questions. He got the job. I’m in hell.”

Entry 3: Month Eight

“Administrative assistants are the only people who actually understand how organizations work. We’re institutional historians. Documentarians. Keepers of secrets nobody wants to remember. We’re basically therapists, except nobody pays us or thanks us.”

Entry 4: Year Two

“I’m going to write about this. Someone needs to. I have email trails. I have memories of every dysfunctional meeting. I have spite. Most importantly, I have documentation. That’s better than a weapon—it’s journalism.”

Entry 5: Current

“They’re still making the same mistakes. Still hiring coaches based on credentials that don’t exist. Still acting shocked when predictable failure happens. I’m just going to keep documenting it. The system’s doing the heavy lifting. I’m just adding the wordplay.”

Jerry Seinfeld once observed: “Why is this thing the way it is? Nobody knows. Everyone pretends they do.” Paige realized: administrative work teaches you exactly why everything is the way it is. Everyone else is just pretending.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.