A graduate degree in chaos management teaches you exactly how broken everything is

Master’s Degree: The Useless Credential That Made Everything Clear

She spent years earning a master’s degree. What it actually taught her: organizations don’t fail by accident. They fail by design.

While other sports writers watched Michigan football implode and saw coaching failure, Paige saw something deeper: institutional inevitability. The machinery that makes bad decisions inevitable. The bureaucratic gears that grind forward regardless of actual competence.

Her degree didn’t teach her how to fix systems. It taught her how to recognize them. How to see the patterns. How to understand that a coach hired for $4 million was hired because he knew somebody, not because he knew football.

As Jerry Seinfeld once observed: “Have you ever noticed that all the people claiming to be successful are usually just the people with the best excuses?” Universities have weaponized that principle.

The real education? Watching six-figure administrators pretend they’re making strategic decisions when they’re actually just protecting their paychecks. That’s a doctoral thesis waiting to happen.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.