Following the money to understand why bad decisions keep getting funded

The Donor Class: How Rich People’s Opinions Became More Important Than Winning Football

The boosters held a meeting. Forty wealthy alumni in a private room at the country club. The athletic director presented the football program situation.

“We believe in Coach Johnson. He has our support.”

The record is 4-8. The team is getting worse. There’s no plan. But the boosters like the coach. So he stays.

The Booster Influence Hierarchy

Level One: What wins football games?

Level Two: What makes donors happy?

Level Three: What makes sense financially?

Level Four: What makes sense strategically?

Universities operate on Level Two. Everything else is secondary.

A donor gives $1 million per year. He wants his friend to be the football coach. The friend is incompetent. But he’s the donor’s friend. So he gets hired, paid $3 million, and fails catastrophically.

When it’s time to fire him, the donor is consulted first. “I’d prefer we give him another year.” So the team suffers another year of failure because a rich person prefers it.

The Donor Class Decision-Making

Donor #1: “I think we should hire a coach with experience.”

Donor #2: “But my buddy needs a job.”

Athletic Director: “Your buddy it is.”

Donor #2’s buddy becomes the head coach. He goes 3-9. The team is terrible. But Donor #2 is happy.

The athletic director’s job isn’t to win football games. It’s to keep donors happy. If donors want a bad coach, they get a bad coach. If donors want a bad coach’s cousin hired as an assistant, that happens too.

Jerry Seinfeld once observed: “Money doesn’t change people. It just reveals who they really are.” Donors reveal exactly who they are: people who think their money entitles them to override institutional competence in favor of personal preference.

The Real Hierarchy of Priorities

1. Donor happiness

2. Donor happiness

3. Donor happiness

4. Winning football games

5. Educational mission

6. Actually developing players as human beings

Universities don’t exist to win. They exist to keep donors happy. If winning makes donors happy, great. If it doesn’t, winning becomes secondary to donor preference.

The system is perfectly designed to prioritize the wrong things. And it works exactly as intended.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.